Mew was very excited to start her long holiday yesterday. As having promised with her, we decorated the house and assembled a paper Xmas tree with a lot of ornaments ("Christmas tree in-a-box" - great craft idea for kids).
Mew repeated all the time that this was her best Xmas ever, lol. Then we asked her to sleep alone on Xmas night so that Santa Claus (Pere Noel) would visit and leave her desired gifts. At first, Mew did not want to sleep alone during her holidays and said that she did not believe in Santa Claus: "il n'existe pas!" and "it's you Daddy and Mommy who will give me the gifts". But after we persuaded her, she agreed to sleep alone in her bedroom only for the night of 24 December. Forget to tell that she has long wished for the Littlest Pet shop animals because her classmates showed her some and she immediately fell in love with these cute plastic animals with bobble heads. So she hung her red and white big Xmas stocks at the door knob with two big bells and went to sleep with a slim hope that Santa Claus will stop by.
Today morning when we all were still sleeping, Mew woke up and immediately came to check her Xmas stocks. She was extremely excited to announce that Santa Claus did come to visit her and left her with not only 1 Pet shop animal as she asked for but also 3 other Pet shop animals, and a My little Pony magnetic boardgame, a Little People Domino game. We were very pleased to see her happy face when getting all the gifts. But it's funnier that later she climbed into the bed with us and asked whether it's Daddy or Mommy or real Santa Claus who brought those gifts to her. Well, Daddy and Mommy always love you and if you are a good girl, Daddy and Mommy could become a real Santa Claus who makes your wish come true, our dearest kitten!
Mew is telling us a story about pregnancy and birth based on the pictures illustrated in a French book titled "Ton Corp". A seed of love between Daddy and Mommy will grow inside the mother's womb to finally become a baby!
A little boy is wonderful
A very special part
Of all the hopes, dreams and plans
We cherish in our hearts
A baby is a gift of life
Born of the wonder of love,
A little bit of eternity
Sent from the Lord above,
Giving a new dimension
To the love between husband and wife
And putting an added new meaning
To the wonder and mystery of life.
"MAM?
What’s it like to be a bee?",
My little son asked of me,
"What’s it like to fly up there,
Through the warm summer air?"
"Well!" I answered, thoughtfully.
The little chap waited, hopefully,
"It’s cool and fresh and very nice,
But they must return, in a thrice."
"You see, little bees have no time,
On their way to the lime,
To enjoy the view or take a rest
They have to do their very best".
"But why Mam - Don’t they play?,
Enjoying the sun this lovely day",
His little face looked very sad,
It made my heart feel really bad.
"Well son, bees make lots of honey,
But only when it’s warm and sunny,
They need enough for them ‘n us,
To eat in winter, without a fuss.".
"If I were a Bee" said my boy
"I’d fly all day so full of joy,
Buzz about ‘n play with friends
Visit flowers on river bends".
How could I explain to my boy
That honey bees know no toy.
They’re born to work, not to play
Never "hide ‘n seek" in hay.
"Mam!! I’m very hungry, Mam,
Can I have some bread ‘n jam?,
I’d like some honey thick ‘n plenty
But MAM - the honey pot is empty"
"And that is why, my little man,
Bees must work, hard as they can,
To feed the hive, and fill our pot
It’s very good of them, - is it not?" (Rusty Wise - "A Little Book of Bee Poems")
"Babies are always more trouble than you thought--and more wonderful."(Charles Osgood)
Don't you love to send a personalized video message from Santa to your little prince or princess? They will be so happy to see their own picture with personalized message to encourage them to make greater efforts for the coming year. It takes just a few minutes to prepare the message and above all, it is totally FREE. Let's start sharing Christmas joy with Santa Claus.
1. Portable North Pole (supports UNICEF) http://www.portablenorthpole.ca/home
Santa Claus and his amazing PNP (Portable North Pole) console will be online during the entire holiday season. With just a few clicks, this technological marvel will let your loved ones receive a personal message from Santa Claus, sent directly from his village in the North Pole. Rediscover Christmas with this immersive and unique experience that brings the holiday magic back to life.
2. Magic Santa http://magicsanta.ca/
Send a magical card to the North Pole on behalf of a child and Santa Claus will send back a personalized video. The video from Santa can be either in French or English.
Are you expecting? I would love to share with you part of my collection of the best quotations to inspire you during your 40-week-long adventure with a tiny being inside your womb.
“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” - Elizabeth Stone
"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, a home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten and the future worth living for." - Unknown
"Children are the purpose of life. We were once children and someone took care of us. Now it is our turn to care."- Cree elder
"Children . . . they string our joys, like jewels bright, upon the thread of years." - Edward A. Guest
"When morning sickness hits, remember this: The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." - Dolly Parton
"A mother holds her children’s hands for a while, but their hearts forever" - Unknown
"A mother's joy begins when new life is stirring inside... when a tiny heartbeat is heard for the very first time and a playful kick reminds her that she is never alone." - Unknown
So Mew officially began her extracurricular activities this week. I enrolled her for a Karate class (white belt - first level) and a swimming class (Poisson-lune - Moonfish).
Mew was extremely excited to participate in the swimming class: she urged me all the time for its enrolment and whenever she went to bath, she would put on her swimming suit and pretend to be a swirling fish in our tiny bath, and make the bathroom's floor look like the aftermath of a flood! Talking about the enrolment of the swimming class, I could have never been able to imagine such a thing here in a developed country: the flyer stated clearly that the enrolment would start from 5pm on Monday 13 September at the quartier's swimming pool but learning from my own experience last year when I came 15 minutes late and no spot left, I decided to go there 1 hour in advance, i.e. at 4pm. Oh my God, upon arriving there, I could not believe in my eyes: a line of about 20 persons had been established in front of the door. I doubted my chance to get a spot for Mew in the class of her level, but then queued in the line anyway with a dim hope. Later, the line became longer and longer and behind me there were about hundred of parents (I was told later that the line was even around a few more blocks). No sign of door opening at 5pm as stated. We waited and waited and more parents came and got shocked at what they were seeing. Until 5.45pm the door finally opened and the enrolment started. Yet the line moved with the turtle's pace and I could only stepped on the threshold at 6.20pm. Luckily, at my turn, there was just one spot available in the class I wanted to enrol Mew. Such a relief! Happy with that, I did not mind waiting outside of the payment room for about 25 more minutes (yet I could not understand why the payment took so long for the people in front of me???). At 6.50pm, I stepped out of the building, with the lucky enrolment slip in hand, and felt so pity for a hundred of parents behind me who then still queued impatiently outside. Coming back home, I told my hubbie that it was just a swimming course and a hundred of parents had to line up for at least 3 hours to get a spot for their children (and a lot would have to come home after long hours of queuing without any success!). It reminded me of the fact that in our native country, in order to have a chance to get a spot for their children in a good public kindergarten or a good public primary school (for future first graders), families often had to queue in front of the school's gate since midnight or even earlier! But that could be understood as it was a competition for a good place of formal education. Here, it was simply a swimming course!!!
I did not go with Mew this morning to her first swimming lesson but according to her Daddy and herself, everything was very fine and Mew did not cry or were not scared at all even though she had to separate from her Daddy before following her teacher to jump into the pool. At this level, kids are required to be at ease in the water with the help of floats and no parents' presence in the water is allowed. I hope that we could have some pictures at her upcoming lessons.
I post here the photos of Mew in her Karate's uniform: she does not really like kungfu (thinking that it is just for boys) but we persuade her to continue with this wonderful teacher to improve her physical fitness as well as to equip herself with necessary self-defense skills that are extremely important for girls today.
Mew's school organized a photo day on 15 September and the kids would have both class photo and individual photo sessions. As the photos are always great souvenirs of a kid' young student life, we decided that Mew would wear her most adorable dress to attend this event. Here are some of the photos I took for Mew before and after school on that day:
It is hard to believe that 6 years have been passed and Mew entered Grade 1 already. Time flies so quickly! We have almost forgotten all difficulties that our family had to face during her early childhood and are so proud of our lovely daughter now. Her French is improving day by day and we are no longer worried about her lagging far behind her classmates. In fact, her teacher is very impressed at her good attitude and competence in class. She is also physically active (like a monkey, lol) and we plan to enroll her in the next level of Karate course and a swimming class next week. Her drawing and colouring skills are even more refined and advanced as compared to her friends (it's so funny that while I could easily recognize Mew's artwork at the teacher-parents meeting last week, most of other parents could not even tell which was the portrait drawn by their own child among those glued on the class board, lol)
Mew starts learning ABC in French now. She is excited to show us her homework and willing to sit down to finish it. However, her attention span is rather short, thus she is not quite happy if we repeat some exercises for several times as the teacher requires.
Her first few lessons focus on French vowels. It's not difficult for Mew to distinguish the sounds of "a", "e", "i", "o", "u" and "y". However, today we had a problem with "é" (accent aigu), "è" (accent grave), and "ê" (circonflex). I confused myself with these sounds as I thought "é" and "ê" seem to be similar in pronunciation whereas in accordance to the International Phonetic Alphabet, "è" and "ê" turn out to have the same symbol. I am seeking for the help from her teacher to clarify this issue.
Today 26 August 2010 is the first day of the schoolyear 2010-2011. In our tradition, the first schoolday for all Graders 1 even marks the most important event in kids' school life. It sets off a brandnew start for both kids and their parents in the formers' pursuit of knowledge and scholastic success that pave the ultimate way to life success. It is the time when our kids (and us parents) learn about the notion of "homework", "exams", etc. It is also the time when we all cherish the value of education and sometimes feel lagged behind the pace of knowledge evolution when our kids begin to ask difficult and/or complicated questions. It's indeed the time for all of us to learn and keep learning.
And today Mew enters Grade 1! How great it is! We have talked all about her new experience and adventure in Grade 1 (and even further) for the last few weeks. We started to prepare all school stuffs immediately when the school sent us the list. We sat together to arrange and organize things into her new backpack. We spent hours to make name labels and stick them to her stuffs. We told her to be concentrated in class and listen to her teacher. "You are now Grader 1!" - we remind her all the time. And she feels she is really!
However, we were a bit disappointed at the manner her school organized the first schoolday. In fact, they did not celebrate it nor launch any ceremony at all. Although they sent us a letter informing that the school bus would operate today, we waited at the bus stop until 7.30am and there was no sign of any school bus arriving. Finally, Mew's Daddy had to take her to school by bike (we planned that he would accompany her there on the first day before class anyway, but we wanted her to take the school bus by herself to gain more independence). At school, all the kids and parents waited in the school yard and tried to figure out who would go to which class (I wondered why they did not simply prepare a class list in advance and send it to us together with all other documents?). It was a little bit disorganized when parents searched for their kid's name in the list of students on the nameboard post that each teacher held in her/his hand. However, it did not take long for Mew and her Daddy to spot her name at the 15th place in class 1B (there are totally 16 students in her class this year). Her teacher seems to be older than others with a very kind-looking face, so we expected that Mew would have a wonderful schoolyear with her experienced teacher.
Once all the kids found their class and their teacher, they quickly said goodbye to their parents and off they went into class at 8.00 am. It seemed that Mew still needed a little of transition as she sobbed with her teary eyes and held onto her Daddy when the time for separation came. It was quite understandable since as a kid, she was unsure about her coming experience even though we tried to instill into her mind with the excitement for Grade 1.
We are now anxiously awaiting for her coming home this afternoon to see how her first schoolday was. It should be a beautiful memory for her after all, we hope.
UPDATED: Mew was happy with her first day of Grade 1. So happy and excited that she totally forgot to take home her lunchbag and jacket and could not even remember where she did put them the last time (such a memorable day!). We hoped that she left those things on the school bus home and we could ask the driver for help tomorrow morning. The last thing to complain about her school's disorganization today was the unexpected school bus trip in the afternoon. After the no-show of school bus in the morning, all parents believed that they would have to come to school to pick their kids up in the afternoon. And when parents arrived there at around 3.15pm, they were surprised to know that their kids had got on the school bus to come home. Few were angry while others (including Mew's Daddy) rushed back to the school bus's stop to catch up with their kids. Luckily that Mew's Daddy had arrived there just a few second before the school bus stopped to drop Mew. Otherwise, he would have to make another bike trip back to her school to pick her up, phew!
Here is a beautiful song in our mother tongue for you, our dearest Mew, to help you never forget your first day of school:
Mew will continue her French education for at least 4 more years. While her French will undoubtedly improve, we are afraid that her English may be negatively affected due to the lack of interactive environment. We want that she can not only speak fluently English but also read smoothly. It is important that she can learn how to read English methodologically with a private tutor or an ESL teacher. We are thus trying to find one at affordable rate. In the meantime, we decided to teach her by ourselves.
After reviewing a number of phonetics materials for kids, I opted for DOLCH SIGHT WORDS as the first step in teaching Mew to read English. (In his 1948 book, "Problems in Reading", Edward William Dolch published a list of 220 frequently used 'service words' and a separate list of 95 common nouns. These lists are estimated to contain 50-75% of the words in children's books. Dolch words, or sight words, provide an excellent base for reading at an early age. They are often called sight words because some of them can't be sounded out, and need to be learned by sight)
I use Dolch sight vocabulary words compiled and designed by Mrs. Jill Perkins to learn with Mew. Her website provides word lists, phrases, worksheets and activities with downloadable Word and PDF files. It is a good idea to have a master printout of the word lists and flashcards for further practice.
If every 3 days Mew learns a column of words (about 10-15 words) and memorizes them by heart and we repeat checking her on those words for 3 subsequent days, her percentage of retaining the words reaches 90-95%. So far, Mew has finished Dolsch Pre-Primer sight word list and she has been able to master about 40 words. Some words she still has difficulty in recognizing and remembering, but it surely takes time to strengthen a kid's memory. Once she has broadened her vocabulary to certain extent, I write down various short and long sentences using all the words that she has learnt so far to test her. For example:
- I go up and I run down to find you.
- I cannot find it where it is. Help me!
- It is big, blue and looks funny.
- I said one, two and three and we can run away (not quite correct grammatically)
And she can read them all!
During the storytime before bed every night with her Daddy, Mew can also recognize a lot of words in the book - that's another positive sign for our joint effort!
We are now working on the Dolch Primer Sight word list and have already finished about 36/52 words. I hope that Mew will be able to complete this list by the end of this month. My homework is then to create new long sentences to test her newly acquired vocabulary. I plan that after mastering (in fact, memorizing) all Dolch sigh words, Mew can read some simple stories. At that stage, we will embark on learning English formally with phonics and grammar. It is a long way ahead, however!
Our little artist decided to draw a portrait for her Mommy. She sat by me and silently watched me working on the computer. Sometimes she asked me "Ne bouge pas, Mama!". I did not pay a tiny attention to her work, thinking simply that she was just playing with drawing as usual.
But it turned out not this time! Amazingly, she made a real portrait of me, with even my hair clip, my pyjamas and the stuffs on my working table. It is very impressive, fantastic and well, I have to honestly admit, I was speechless when seeing the drawing (haha, I never have any idea of what I do really look like now without her work of art). Here it is, my portrait drawn by my little angel:
Then I asked her to draw her own portrait and her Daddy's portrait as well. Mew spent about half an hour sitting in front of the mirror to draw herself. And she came out of her room with this beautiful portrait:
Mew now can wash the dishes by herself, hoorray! And she is just 6 and a half years old! Wow, I remember that the first time I helped my Mom to do the same chore was when I was 10 or 12 years old. What's a big difference, lol!
Last night, Mew asked me to teach her how to wash the dishes. I did not believe that she could do it at the age of 6 but I let her watch me anyway. While washing the piles of dishes and pots, I taught her essential steps, from arranging and piling the stuffs in the sink in a certain order to washing all the edge of bowls and dishes while holding them tightly and carefully, and to finally cleaning the sink area after finishing the chore. And this evening, after the dinner, when I asked her to clear the table and bring all the stuffs to the sink, she insisted on washing everything there by herself! So why not let her do it voluntarily instead of urging her to help me with housework later? We found a small wooden chair for her to stand on to reach the sink. Then Mew put on her own children's apron (very professionally, lol). And I stood by her side to give her a hand just in case and more importantly, to take some snapshots of this memorable event. Mew managed to do almost all the dishwashing from A to Z by herself in fact (I just helped a little bit with knives, tall glass cups, pots and pans).
Such a wonderful night! I felt so happy when realizing that my little daughter has really grown up and become a big girl indeed. Thank you so much, Sweetie!
Mew attended a pre-beginner Karatedo class last semester. The Master was great: super professional, patient and disciplined. Mew completed her 10 sessions successfully and was awarded an official certificate written in Japanese! Quite impressive indeed! If during the first few sessions Mew had been so shy and timid, she became more relaxed and comfortable later on. One good thing of this Karatedo class is that the ratio of students and teacher was very low (5:1) so it was easier for the kids to follow the Master's instructions. The pre-beginner class aims at helping kids to get acquainted with Karatedo and preparing kids with basic physical exercises. As a fan of Kungfu movies, I really hope that Mew will continue her Karatedo practice until her achieving of black belt level so that she will be able to self-defense whenever necessary.
A few pictures and video to remind us of her pre-beginner Karatedo class:
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited their doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground.
I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my daughter's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.
I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your sister," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely.
It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my daughter saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think she wants her crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.
Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
Yours Always, MOM...!
P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.
All answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions :
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd GET rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
"What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job or are you just a......?" "Of course I have a job," snapped the woman. "I'm a Mom."
"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it,"said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."
"What is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research, [what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom."
Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door. Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations" and great grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates"? I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants".
The job of a MOTHER is one of the most difficult there is, but still remains popular. I think that may be because, though many jobs are important, none is more so.
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** I came across the first article on Money Smart Life and the second one on iVillage and thought they were worth being shared with others. Despite the fact that I have not yet devoted to my child 24/7/365, I am still very proud and grateful of being a mother.
WANTED: ONE FULL TIME MOTHER
Job Description
Seeking one full time mother to raise a baby. No experience necessary.
Screening Process
The job requires an initial nine month screening process during which you’ll be puking, uncomfortable, and sometimes miserable while carrying a baby to full term. Your body will do things you didn’t think possible and the nine months will end with some of the worst pain you’ve ever experienced.
Required Skills
Here are the skills necessary to be considered for the job of full time mom.
• Change diapers at any time of day or night
• Decipher baby’s cry and calm crying baby
• Setup & organize a baby’s room
• Cook with a kid on your hip or under your feet
• Fast cleaner, able to clean entire house before kid starts making next mess
• Shop for bargains on kids clothes, diapers, etc
• Keep kid entertained with non stop activities
• Ability to discipline kid
• Must teach kid to walk, talk count, eat with silverware, use the toilet, & be polite
• Whatever else is necessary to keep kid alive, healthy, and happy…
Job Hazards
This job will not be easy, you will have to endure:
• Stress
• Pain
• Guilt
• Worry
• Lack of Sleep
• Petulant Children
Qualifications
To do this job well you must exhibit:
• Unconditional Love
• Compassion
• Patience
Compensation
This is a non-paid position but it does come with benefits you won’t find anywhere else such as undying love of the child and eternal gratitude from the father.
Thank You!
Of course it’s impossible to list all the amazing things you do. When you look at all that’s required it’s a wonder anybody wants the job of full time mom; BUT you do it so well and take such good care of our kids! We’re so lucky to have you in our lives. Happy Mother’s Day!
Note of the author: This is the mothers day card I wrote for my wife today. This afternoon I took both little ones while she headed out on her own for some time away from the kids. After only a few hours of a demanding three year old and a crying newborn I am reminded of how tough a mother’s job can be. Hats off to all the mothers out there!
JOB DESCRIPTION: Long-term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends, away sports matches and occasional visits to casualty. Travel expenses not reimbursed.
RESPONSIBILITIES:
- Must provide on-the-site training in basic life skills, such as nose-blowing and shoe-tying.
- Must have strong skills in negotiating, conflict resolution and crisis management. Ability to treat flesh wounds a plus.
- Must be able to think outside of the box but not lose track of the box, because you most likely will need it for a school project.
- Must reconcile petty cash disbursements and be proficient in managing budgets and resources fairly, unless you want to hear, 'He got more than me' for the rest of your life.
- Also, must be able to drive motor vehicles safely under loud and adverse conditions while simultaneously practicing above-mentioned skills in conflict resolution. Must be able to withstand criticism, such as 'You don't know anything.'
- Must be willing to be hated at least temporarily, until someone needs extra pocket money for the cinema.
- Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the garden are not someone just crying wolf.
- Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zips. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and co-ordinate production of multiple homework projects.
- Must have ability to plan and organise social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
- Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and battery operated devices. Also, must have a highly energetic entrepreneurial spirit, because fund-raiser will be your middle name.
- Must have diverse general knowledge, so as to answer questions such as `What makes the wind move?? spontaneously.
- Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
- Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION: You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, the job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.
The messages in these inspirational slideshows are really meaningful to us who are both parents of some children and children of some parents at the same time. Do enjoy the time you share with your children and do treasure every moment you can have with your parents in this life.
We recognize that Mew's passion for drawing has not yet diminished. She draws anything, anytime and anywhere (and consumes tons of paper, lol). She can imagine some stories based on the familiar motives of princess-prince or can draw some pictures from her memory of the relevant movies. Sometimes she simply copies down an image in a book. And her works of art really amaze us. Yet she does not want to become a painter when growing up, because a painter can hardly earn a lot of money and it is almost impossible to become a famous painter (while you are still alive to benefit from the fame, lol). Mew's biggest dream until now is to earn enough money to buy a castle for all of us (We are happy to hear that she wants us parents to live with her forever in that castle). We are trying to tell her that the only (common) way to become rich (stably) on your own is to have solid knowledge background via education and urge her to try her best to excel at school. We hope that she will not disappoint us.
Here are some samples of Mew's works that I want to share. In a mother's eyes, her child is always a genius obviously.
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