A MOTHER'S JOB
A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
"What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job or are you just a......?" "Of course I have a job," snapped the woman. "I'm a Mom."
"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it,"said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."
"What is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research, [what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom."
Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door. Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations" and great grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates"? I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants".
The job of a MOTHER is one of the most difficult there is, but still remains popular. I think that may be because, though many jobs are important, none is more so.
I came across the first article on Money Smart Life and the second one on iVillage and thought they were worth being shared with others. Despite the fact that I have not yet devoted to my child 24/7/365, I am still very proud and grateful of being a mother.
WANTED: ONE FULL TIME MOTHER
Job Description
Seeking one full time mother to raise a baby. No experience necessary.
Screening Process
The job requires an initial nine month screening process during which you’ll be puking, uncomfortable, and sometimes miserable while carrying a baby to full term. Your body will do things you didn’t think possible and the nine months will end with some of the worst pain you’ve ever experienced.
Required Skills
Here are the skills necessary to be considered for the job of full time mom.
• Change diapers at any time of day or night
• Decipher baby’s cry and calm crying baby
• Setup & organize a baby’s room
• Cook with a kid on your hip or under your feet
• Fast cleaner, able to clean entire house before kid starts making next mess
• Shop for bargains on kids clothes, diapers, etc
• Keep kid entertained with non stop activities
• Ability to discipline kid
• Must teach kid to walk, talk count, eat with silverware, use the toilet, & be polite
• Whatever else is necessary to keep kid alive, healthy, and happy…
• Decipher baby’s cry and calm crying baby
• Setup & organize a baby’s room
• Cook with a kid on your hip or under your feet
• Fast cleaner, able to clean entire house before kid starts making next mess
• Shop for bargains on kids clothes, diapers, etc
• Keep kid entertained with non stop activities
• Ability to discipline kid
• Must teach kid to walk, talk count, eat with silverware, use the toilet, & be polite
• Whatever else is necessary to keep kid alive, healthy, and happy…
Job Hazards
This job will not be easy, you will have to endure:
• Stress
• Pain
• Guilt
• Worry
• Lack of Sleep
• Petulant Children
• Pain
• Guilt
• Worry
• Lack of Sleep
• Petulant Children
Qualifications
To do this job well you must exhibit:
• Unconditional Love
• Compassion
• Patience
• Compassion
• Patience
Compensation
This is a non-paid position but it does come with benefits you won’t find anywhere else such as undying love of the child and eternal gratitude from the father.
Thank You!
Of course it’s impossible to list all the amazing things you do. When you look at all that’s required it’s a wonder anybody wants the job of full time mom; BUT you do it so well and take such good care of our kids! We’re so lucky to have you in our lives. Happy Mother’s Day!
Of course it’s impossible to list all the amazing things you do. When you look at all that’s required it’s a wonder anybody wants the job of full time mom; BUT you do it so well and take such good care of our kids! We’re so lucky to have you in our lives. Happy Mother’s Day!
Note of the author: This is the mothers day card I wrote for my wife today. This afternoon I took both little ones while she headed out on her own for some time away from the kids. After only a few hours of a demanding three year old and a crying newborn I am reminded of how tough a mother’s job can be. Hats off to all the mothers out there!
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
POSITION: Mother
JOB DESCRIPTION: Long-term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends, away sports matches and occasional visits to casualty. Travel expenses not reimbursed.
RESPONSIBILITIES:
- Must provide on-the-site training in basic life skills, such as nose-blowing and shoe-tying.
- Must have strong skills in negotiating, conflict resolution and crisis management. Ability to treat flesh wounds a plus.
- Must be able to think outside of the box but not lose track of the box, because you most likely will need it for a school project.
- Must reconcile petty cash disbursements and be proficient in managing budgets and resources fairly, unless you want to hear, 'He got more than me' for the rest of your life.
- Also, must be able to drive motor vehicles safely under loud and adverse conditions while simultaneously practicing above-mentioned skills in conflict resolution. Must be able to withstand criticism, such as 'You don't know anything.'
- Must be willing to be hated at least temporarily, until someone needs extra pocket money for the cinema.
- Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the garden are not someone just crying wolf.
- Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zips. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and co-ordinate production of multiple homework projects.
- Must have ability to plan and organise social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
- Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and battery operated devices. Also, must have a highly energetic entrepreneurial spirit, because fund-raiser will be your middle name.
- Must have diverse general knowledge, so as to answer questions such as `What makes the wind move?? spontaneously.
- Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
- Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION: You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, the job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
JOB DESCRIPTION: MOTHER
POSITION: Mother
JOB DESCRIPTION: Long-term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends, away sports matches and occasional visits to casualty. Travel expenses not reimbursed.
RESPONSIBILITIES:
- Must provide on-the-site training in basic life skills, such as nose-blowing and shoe-tying.
- Must have strong skills in negotiating, conflict resolution and crisis management. Ability to treat flesh wounds a plus.
- Must be able to think outside of the box but not lose track of the box, because you most likely will need it for a school project.
- Must reconcile petty cash disbursements and be proficient in managing budgets and resources fairly, unless you want to hear, 'He got more than me' for the rest of your life.
- Also, must be able to drive motor vehicles safely under loud and adverse conditions while simultaneously practicing above-mentioned skills in conflict resolution. Must be able to withstand criticism, such as 'You don't know anything.'
- Must be willing to be hated at least temporarily, until someone needs extra pocket money for the cinema.
- Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the garden are not someone just crying wolf.
- Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zips. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and co-ordinate production of multiple homework projects.
- Must have ability to plan and organise social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
- Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and battery operated devices. Also, must have a highly energetic entrepreneurial spirit, because fund-raiser will be your middle name.
- Must have diverse general knowledge, so as to answer questions such as `What makes the wind move?? spontaneously.
- Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
- Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION: You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, the job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.
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